Broccoli, Celery, Got to Be ...

Y'all know the rest, don't you? Of course you do.

VeggieTales!!!

My children came along at just the right time to catch the peak popularity of Bob the tomato and Larry the cucumber. Up until we gave them away, we owned a dozen VHS tapes and more than a few plush toys. We were among those who went to the movie theatre on opening day to watch the first VeggieTales movie, Jonah. Alas, not many more followed.

VeggieTales was the brainchild of Phil Vischer, born here in Iowa, and was taken to the retail world in 1993. It was a unique creation -- talking vegetables that humorously told Bible stories to the under 10 crowd. Like any good youth-oriented product, it was written at a level that both kids and adults could enjoy -- kids for the sheer entertainment of it all, and adults for the cultural references only an adult would understand. VeggieTales become a Christian cultural phenomenon that would eventually become a mainstream phenom too, culminating with the Jonah movie in 2002.

About that time, VeggieTales became VeggieFails -- from a business perspective, anyway. As outlined in the humorous and captivating Vischer book Me, Myself, and Bob, Vischer's Big Idea Productions company had taken on too much debt and could not continue. The vegetables declared bankruptcy and embarrassment. They survive today as an entity of a huge conglomerate, with only moderate creative input from the original players.

This past week the veggies became stars in their second motion picture -- The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. The picture will be panned by "critics" as being too nice, or too simple, or too archaic in its animation. Remaining fans of the series will hungrily lap it up as one of the very few movies they can take their small children to and not have to be even slightly concerned about obvious, or even subtle, innuendo. To be sure, the most onerous part of taking your kids to a Veggie Tales film is the previews for the other films you must sit through.

My 12 and 9 year-old kids no longer long for VeggieTales, though it wouldn't surprise me if we see this film sooner or later. I'm pretty sure the novelty of talking vegetables telling Bible stories is beyond its expiration date. Yet nothing has taken its place in the retail world.

As I've written before, creative types at Disney, Pixar and other media giants could make a financial killing if they could simply give Christian parents -- any parents -- and young children what they want: squeaky clean entertainment. No eight year-olds swearing, no bare bottoms, no innuendo sexual humor, no political statements. The task seems so easy, yet ... it must be harder than I think or someone would be doing it.

There has never, ever, ever, ever, ever been a show like VeggieTales. Perhaps there never will be again. So come on down to the local theatre -- its time for VeggieTales.

Superheros, Shiloh, and Chivalry

We rarely see a new movie in the theatre, with prices so high and the likelihood of disappointment even higher -- I am cheap and hard to please. But we do rent a fair number of films because they don't cost much and I can turn them off if I don't like them. It also gives us a chance to preview what the kids might view later.

When I was in college at the University of Northern Iowa, I wrote movie reviews for the Northern Iowan for one semester. Free tickets each week to a movie of my choice. My rating system was based on black JuJu Fruits. JuJu fruits are sort of like Dots -- a soft, chewy, gumdrop candy. The black ones tasted bad. So, I rated movies based on their weakness. Bad movie = lots of black JuJu fruits.

I recently watched three movies on DVD. Here's how I would rate them ...

"Sky High" is about a high school freshman who is born of two superhero parents, yet himself does not have superhero powers. Sky High is his new high school, where all the kids have superhero parents. This goofy movie is essentialy about our young man coming into his own and deciding who and what he is all about -- sort of a common teen angst movie wrapped into a cartoonish plot involving special powers. Our TV Guardian was used sparingly (mostly clean language) and outside of some mild violence and teen flirting, the movie was sparkling. It was almost cute, but just dumb enough to leave you wishing it were just a little bit more "something." I give it four black JuJu fruits -- about an average movie with extra credit for being family friendly.

"Facing the Giants" is the story of Shiloh Christian Academy's mediocre football team and its unusual season of revival. This movie is best known for having been created by a Baptist church down in Georgia. Members of the church directed, produced, scored, and acted the entire thing on a shoestring budget. It's a movie about Jesus disguised as a a sports story. My wife and I disagreed about the quality of the acting. She thought it was good. I thought it was on the level of watching a well-done home video or training film. We did agree that it was a sweet story with a good message. And kudos to the Sherwood Baptist Church for tackling such an ambitious project. Four black JuJu fruits.

Chivalry is on display in the remake of "Pride and Predudice" released last year. I've seen it three times and enjoyed it immensely with each viewing. It has cracked my top 10 of all-time faves, as I watch this common 18th century English family and the stories of its daughters. Though it is an adult film, there is no objectionable content and the kids watched it with us without the TV Guardian. I have no complaints, and therefore no black JuJu fruits to award.