CONFIDENTIAL: MOVIE EXECS

CONFIDENTIAL: To major movie executives
FROM: A consumer
RE: Hollywood's Dismal Year

To whom it may concern,

I read with interest the AP article today entitled, "Hollywood Has Dismal Year at Box Office." It reported that movie atendence declined this year by nearly eight percent, the largest single year decline in 20 years. It also noted that a recent AP poll suggested that 73 percent of adults said they preferred watching movies at home on DVD or pay-per-view. Apparently, you and your peer executives are flabbergasted over such news, and don't know what to do about it.

I've got a few ideas.

First, you might begin by making movies that people want to see, not movies that Hollywood wants to make. This is simply a case of supply and demand. If you supplied movies that were appealing to the average person, the demand would be greater. Every time you make a family friendly, non-violent, clean language film, it's box office take is huge. When you create a film that pushes the Hollywood agenda, or only appeals to some niche segment of the viewing audience (i.e. Deuce Bigalow, European Gigilo), your audience may be surprisingly limited.

Second, you might try lowering prices. In middle America, a trip for a family of four to the theatre runs about $40 after popcorn and sodas. In contrast, a trip to the couch to watch a movie costs about $4, including popcorn and sodas. In addition, if I don't like the movie because it turns out to be one of those non family friendly flicks I mentioned above, I can turn it off and not feel like I'm out $40. I can even go to the restroom when I want to and not miss a scene. Not to mention fast forwarding through the endless "feature future films."

I recognize that if you lower prices, you may not be able to pay Angelina Jolie $20 million for her next film. Tom Cruise may not be able to command his $30 million pricetag. Maybe they would work for $5-10 million ... I don't know. I realize they have to feed their families, too.

Third, you might want to hire a Hollywood outsider to evaluate your scripts. I can tell by watching a 30-second clip if I'm going to have an interest in attending one of your films -- it only takes that long for me to judge the plot. But, if you don't feel like approving better scripts, you might at least create a preview that makes your movie appear better than it really is. I'm not encouraging this kind of devious behavior, mind you, but it might work.

I know I have disappointed you this past year, as I only watched three movies in a theatre. The first was the latest Star Wars film. I enjoyed it, but I confess, I saw it during it's second run and my ticket only cost $3. The second film I saw was "March of the Penguins," but again, I paid reduced prices during the second run. More recently, I went to see "The Chronicles of Narnia" and thoroughly enjoyed it. Alas, my tickets were generously given to me free by friends, but full price was paid by the church that graciously purchased every seat for the 7 p.m. showing on opening night. I guess that should count for something.

If you are hopeful that I will find the doorway of a movie theatre more often in 2006, perhaps you will consider my suggestions. Should you wish to hire me as a product consultant, I'm sure we can agree on fee. I'm reasonably sure that, in exchange for a seven figure salary, I can guarantee you that the 10-15 films I approve for release will top $100 million at the ticket counter, and do reasonably well in the rental market. Just let me know when you'd like to meet.

Best wishes,

A caucasian, born-again, 35 year-old parent of two in America's heartland